Tag Archives: around the house

STJSM: The Toilet Paper Roll.

31 Dec

“Weezy”: George, have you noticed the toilet paper in the bathroom?
George: Heh. Only when it ain’t there!

This blog is pointless. And most of them are. But with my lack of sleep (oh yea, I’m still lacking), I’ve had much time to think about SHIT THAT JUST SHOULDN’T MATTER.

When I was a child, my mum taught me how to put toilet paper (Never, ever call it tissue I was told by my ex. Tissue is for your nose. Toilet paper is for your bum.). Anyway, she told me that the “tongue” should be over NEVER under because that’s just ass backwards. And for years she’d come behind me and say, “Geez Robin, why on Earth do you like to see the toilet paper ass backwards!!” (except…my mother never cursed…although, she did SPELL frickin’ to me one time when she was super mad at me)

So I developed issues. Just one of the many.

The tongue must be over! Never under! Never ever!

Fast forward 13 years. I moved in with someone (the ex-spouse) who was taught the exact…total…opposite. Now, I had lived with people before, but they just didn’t give a shit either way. But he said I was putting it on backwards and NO ONE had ever told me that (since the GEEZ ROBIN’s from my mother). I laughed in his face and told him he was insane. My mum, the queen of all mother’s, instructed me the CORRECT way. And his mother, well…let’s just say she was wrong.

If I went in the bathroom and saw it “upside down” with the tongue coming from underneath I’d change it and grumble – sometimes loud enough for him to hear.

After a while I got tired of changing it, so I’d just grumble. Have you ever seen the toilet paper come from UNDER?? That shit’s ugly! But, as the years went by, I noticed it less and less. Probably because as the years went by, I spent more time changing baby diapers and less time worrying about a pretty bathroom (I love pretty bathrooms).

Today, I can honestly say I’ve kicked the habit. Right now, I don’t even know which way the toilet paper is hanging. Wait, let me go look.

Heck. Right now, the toilet paper isn’t even on the holder. It’s empty and a full one is on the tub and another full one is on the back of the toilet! Talk about overcoming obsessive compulsive behaviors! Aye! What a slob!

Here is my drawing of today’s SHIT THAT JUST SHOULDN’T MATTER!


Remember kids, the ass of the toilet paper should face the world.

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