Therapy Maybe?

4 Apr

Let�s see, I�ve been having Lucid Dreams since about the age of 9. I remember my very first Lucid Dream. I was playing in the backyard at my grandmother�s house. My grandmother had this gate that closed at the end of the driveway that kept the kids in the back. I was happily playing and then I just became aware. It�s the oddest feeling; you look around and think�Oh my God! I�m dreaming! Then you don�t know what to do with yourself, or at least I didn�t know. As I said, I usually want to get up immediately but I didn�t know what to do. I remembered where I came into the dream, (You know, where ever you are when the dream starts) so I went to that area and lay down on the ground and woke up very easily. And this is the way I still wake from Lucid Dreams. I go to wherever I came in and wake up. In the past 2 years it has become increasingly harder for me to wake from these dreams. I�m not sure why.

The first time I found it hard was when I had (or what I think was) an OBE (Out of Body Experience). I was sleeping with my daughter Shanon in my bed. It was an afternoon nap. I woke up and was lying on my back. I decided to get up and did, but the weirdest thing was�I didn�t. Huh? Yeah, I know. I got up, but my body didn�t. FR-EA-KY! I have always known and believed that you are you even without your body, but it was weird to be actually outside of it. So I backed up and laid back down over my body, then tried to get up again. I tried this a couple times and each time when I got up, it was without my body. I was not totally freaked out, but I was a bit scared. Now, I never looked back at my body that would have totally freaked me out. Finally I said enough is enough and I laid on my body until  we connected. I felt something like a click and I felt �ONE� with my body. It was like an awakening. So maybe it was a dream you say? No. It wasn�t. I know it wasn’t. The room was exactly the same as it was when I was without my body. I was weirded out by it for a while. And I wondered how and why it happened.

Since that time I have had many eerie things happen. I have dreams that foretell the future. Not in detail, but it gives hints and clues as to what is going to happen. And not just in my life. Since then I have felt some type of connection with the world. I�m not good at explaining these things, but that�s the best way to put it. I am not psychic, but I feel like I am very sensitive to what�s going on or may happen in the world.

I have also found that relatives come and talk to me in my dreams. Deceased relatives. Not all, just a certain few. My grandfather is one that visits me often and tries to speak to me. I have really been to frightened to actually talk to him, but I think that I should. I dream about other deceased relatives, but they don�t try to relay messages or tell me anything.

Okay, back to Lucid Dreams. My dreams have become so real that I have a hard time distinguishing dream from reality. I have to actually pinch myself to see if it�s a dream. I had a dream about 2 months ago where I got up from the bed to use the bathroom. I stopped at the window at the top of my stairs to look out, and then I went down the stairs. I could hear the TV downstairs. Ray was sitting on the couch. And it wasn�t until then (maybe 3 minutes after the dream started) that I realized Ray didn�t look exactly right. His hair looked a bit longer, he was sitting funny. He looked a bit scary (the way he was looking at me). Then I heard a voice calling my name. It was then that I said forget the bathroom and took off upstairs. As I was going up I pinched myself, on the arms, and cheek and sure enough it didn�t hurt. I had a few dreams like that in that one night. I kept thinking I was awake and then would realize that I was in a dream. I just couldn�t get out of it. Now, going back to where I entered the dream is not working. I have to find another way to wake up. I haven�t learned how to control them yet and I guess it�s because I�m too scared of them. lol. Oh well.

Pregnancy Note: Today, my baby measures almost 10 inches (head to butt) and weights 2 1/4 lbs. In just 2 weeks he has gained 6 ounces and has grown 3/4 inch.

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